That was a typical Friday night when I usually stroll inside a galleria to find a dark lipsticks and an eyebrow product. Black plain long sleeves, short pants, and boots were my outfit that night that was being accompanied with fresh and subtle ‘no makeup’ makeup look. As I walk, plenty of eyes were set upon me. “Eyes on the prize!” is my mantra in selecting the finest shade of makeup, the price didn’t really bother me for I treat make up as an investment to make. Suddenly, a glare of shine coming from a golden packaging of an eyebrow palette caught my attention as I wander my eyes to the make up section. I approached the boutique where that striking golden glare came from. As I was about to enter the boutique, I started to turn around and just walk away when one of the saleslady rushed towards me and asked this rude question with her annoying voice”How can I help you Madame, or Sir?”.
Being part of the LGBTQ Community is indeed full of enigmatic pressure, quandary, and misjudgements. But in the contrary, aside from this negative experiences, we the people as a part of the Third Sex find ways to be happy by making people laugh and helping to achieve their goals whole-heartedly.
Self vs. Identity Crisis
As a child born to a very religious family, the Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation that I choose should be ‘appropriate’ and not ‘against’ Lord’s Will.
My first memory as a child was me interrogating myself “Why do I have a male body?” or “Do I really need to wear pants instead of dress?”. My parents were so strict especially my dad. He always see to it that we are fine. We all know that if you were born gay in the Philippines, your first concern was what might your father do unto you, and how will he react upon that situation of you coming out of your closet. My family is very supportive with my decisions. Everything I do, I always do it not just for God and myself, but also for my family.
As they let me express who I really am, I also see to it that my school performance will be almost excellent, I strive harder to pay respect for them. Indeed, your family is the best reinforcement you need in times of pain and sadnesss
Religion vs. LGBTQ
Studying in a Catholic School in my elementary days gave me a struggle for they taught us that your biological sex or the genital that you have should be the determinant of your gender. Upon entering the building of our school, I always feel so welcome, but there is no perfect situation for me. There are times when my classmates didn’t welcome me to their peer. There are instances when I was being teased and labelled as weak because I am not doing those ‘regular things’ my guy friends were fond of doing.
This dillema continued as I enter my Senior High School years. Little did people know, I am active in Church activities, in fact, I am the Secretary of our Religious Group named Legion if Mary, I am also a volunteer cathecist which made me somewhat well rounded with my Religion’s Doctrines as well as other sects’ teachings.The decision of pursuing my SHS life in a Catholic School was my personal choice that was quite huge to be frank. I chose to study to a Catholic School for my SHS life because I want to spread the idea that my community, the Third Sex Community, didn’t choose this way of living, but just chose to be happy by accepting who we really our. Also, I attend to a Catholic School to spread the awareness of our existence and correcting the notion “Being gay is a MAJOR SIN”.
Entering religious places could be challenging for many eyes are looking to you, patiently waiting for any wrong act you do, because that wrong act you did, even if you didn’t mean it, that can be used against you.
Right now, I am happy because I met Catholic and Religious preachers who were with me and treated me not just as their trusted friend but a nice and obedient daughter. This proves that we should not see other people’s qualities as “different” but “unique characteristics”. Thus making the East and the West meet in middle.
Many Religious Orgaizations are stepping up their game and accepting us in their group and forum. There are those Authorized Religious Groups that are now being headed by LGBTQ Leaders, but there are still conservatives who were not very much welcoming for our gender. In this event, I salute those people who accept us whole-heartedly especially to our present Pope, Pope Francis for not judging us by the way we choose to live, and to those who weren’t, still we love you and we understand your claims.
Society vs. LGBTQ
Living in a conservative country, being part of the Third Sex is hard. Those sharp eyes that were layed by the people of golden ages were making us uncomfortble. In our society, where gender-linked responsibilities were being asked, I felt unease because if you belong to our community, other people will see you as a weak, unsteady, and a wimpy person both in physical and emotional.
There are those time that people think that I am aloof, maybe because I fight for equity. I sometimes became a lawyer defending what we the people of Third Sex deserve, but I always choose the terms that I shall use because words are sharp pointed arrows that could pierce right directly to man’s heart, and I don’t want tha thing to happen.
There are times when I enter the men’s restroom where I get those uncanny looks from other people’s eyes. Those expressions get me into my nerves everytime I exprerienced those situation.
Thanks to our modernized government, there are laws that are specially made to protect us. Although these sets of law are still in working process, I am optimistically waiting for its formal launch.
Apathy, hatred, and loathe are very strong and negative things that hide in the deepest dungeon within us, waiting for any abominations to strike, but I believe that the warmth of love and compassion can overcome every negativity in this world. Enough with that gloominess and despair, and start to be a philantropist. Remember GAY is an acronym for God Accepts You!
The Writer's Block 